Best Story of the Week?

I can’t decide which story is my favorite story of the week. And by favorite, I mean the story that just made me laugh because of the sheer out-of-the-ordinariness of it.

A) It was Wednesday morning, 7:50 am and the doorbell rings. There stood my neighbor, and his fiancée hanging around in the background. He told me he locked his keys in his brand new—terrible color of orange—car. The kicker: it was still running! So they asked me if I could “watch” it while his fiancée took him to work and then the locksmith would be coming. So I “watched” the car (that is, peeked out my window to make sure no one stole it whenever I had a spare moment). Soon it was 8:21 and I was set to go to work. But no one to come and watch the car, so I thought: Well, I’ll just call my neighbor’s fiancée to just see if by some chance she stopped by her apartment. When she answered, I was a little taken aback. And then I was just floored when she acted all confused when I told her I had to go to work. She didn’t know what to do! She kept sighing and saying, “I just don’t know what to do.” I kept thinking: He’s your fiancée…this is not my problem. And I really did have to be to work because I had story time ! I couldn’t believe they just thought I was going to sit there and watch his car for and indefinite amount of time. Moral of the story: Clarify expectations.

B) I work with a particularly unique individual. Among other tidbits, he walks his goats often, really wants to have a cattle drive at the Heritage Center, and comes up with lots of great theories (such as: the Qwest building that is really a front for the NSA). Today, he announced that it would be a great day to get a facial and/or pedicure. And after some discussion with another co-worker, thought maybe a scalp treatment would be good too. This was an actual conversation lasting a few minutes—not just a statement. And he was serious. I mean, I agree, but it is hilarious coming from a very heterosexual male. My favorite line: “It’s way better than a movie.”